Usually I’ll use this space to talk about all the newest trends in fashion that we love. This isn’t that. Be warned – if you love your roman gladiator sandals, turn back now!
You may have noticed a n ever-increasing number of women (and men – no judgments there!) wearing those tall, leather sandals with laces that go up to the calf or higher. The first time I saw them…Well, the FIRST time I saw them was probably in a museum or Chariots of Fire. But the first time I saw them on a real person who wasn’t doing some sort of ancient war reenactment, I was confused. The second through millionth time I saw them, I had to roll my eyes.
Let’s completely gloss over the fact that perfectly flat sandals DESTROY the arches of your feet. I’m not too concerned about that. Pain is beauty, right? I’m more concerned with what these people think is going to happen to their lower legs that they feel the need to protect them. Is there a rash of women getting their Achilles tendons sliced by strangers? Are they planning on going into battle after work? Or are they afraid that they’ll one day be magically transported back to the first century AD, and want to be prepared footwear-wise?
I’m not saying that every fashion has to have a practical application. I’m just saying that the time for this fashion has long since passed. We’ve improved footwear so much over the last 2 millennia that it seems silly to subject yourself to that experience. Isn’t the slip-on, slip-off nature of sandals their biggest selling point? You need a whole team of bucklers to get these things on in the morning. Why would you sacrifice the only benefit of sandals just to show everyone your feet?! You don’t see people on motorcycles riding around in these, do you?
In short – ladies, wear some shoes that were designed within the last century please. You look ridiculous.